Raising Children

عن عمرو بن شُعيب عن أبيه عن جدِّه قال: قال رسولُ الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: «مُرُوا أولادكمِ بالصلاةِ وهم أبناءُ سبعِ سِنينَ، واضرِبوهم عليها وهم أبناءُ عَشرٍ، وفرِّقوا بينهم في المَضاجِعِ».

The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) clarified that the father should command his children - boys and girls - to pray when they are seven years old, and he should teach them what they need to establish prayer. On reaching ten, he should add the beating if they show negligence in observing the prayer. Moreover, he should separate them in beds.

• Teaching young children before reaching the age of puberty matters of religion, the most important of which is prayer.
• Beating should be for the sake of discipline, not torture, so he should beat in a way that suits the child's circumstance.
• The Shariah cares about protecting people's honor and blocks all means that may lead to corruption.

سنن أبي داود (1/ 367) (495، 496). نزهة المتقين شرح رياض الصالحين، مجموعة من الباحثين (1/ 299). بهجة الناظرين شرح رياض الصالحين، لسليم الهلالي (1/ 382).

عَنْ أَبِي العَبَّاسِ، عَبْدِ الله بْنِ عَبَّاسٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمَا قَالَ: كُنْت خَلْفَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَوْمًا، فَقَالَ: «يَا غُلَامِ! إنِّي أُعَلِّمُك كَلِمَاتٍ: احْفَظِ اللَّهَ يَحْفَظْكَ، احْفَظِ الله تَجِدْهُ تُجَاهَكَ، إذَا سَأَلْتَ فَاسْأَلِ اللهَ، وَإِذَا اسْتَعَنْتَ فَاسْتَعِنْ بِاَللهِ، وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ الأُمَّةَ لَوْ اجْتَمَعَتْ عَلَى أَنْ يَنْفَعُوكَ بِشَيْءٍ لَمْ يَنْفَعُوكَ إلَّا بِشَيْءٍ قَدْ كَتَبَهُ اللَّهُ لَكَ، وَإِنِ اجْتَمَعُوا عَلَى أَنْ يَضُرُّوكَ بِشَيْءٍ لَمْ يَضُرُّوكَ إلَّا بِشَيْءٍ قَدْ كَتَبَهُ اللَّهُ عَلَيْكَ؛ رُفِعَتِ الأَقْلَامُ، وَجَفَّتِ الصُّحُفُ». وَفِي رِوَايَةِ غَيْرِ التِّرْمِذِيِّ: «احْفَظِ اللهَ تَجِدْهُ أَمَامَكَ، تَعَرَّفْ إلَى اللهِ فِي الرَّخَاءِ يَعْرِفْكَ فِي الشِّدَّةِ، وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ مَا أَخْطَأَكَ لَمْ يَكُنْ لِيُصِيبَكَ، وَمَا أَصَابَك لَمْ يَكُنْ لِيُخْطِئَكَ، وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ النَّصْرَ مَعَ الصَّبْرِ، وَأَنْ الفَرَجَ مَعَ الكَرْبِ، وَأَنَّ مَعَ العُسْرِ يُسْرًا».

Ibn ‘Abbās (may Allah be pleased with him) informs that one day, as a boy, he was riding behind the Prophet (ﷺ), and he said to him: I will teach you things by which Allah will benefit you: Be mindful of Allah by observing His commands and prohibitions, finding you engaged in acts of worship and piety, and not finding you committing sins and misdeeds. If you do so, your recompense will be that Allah will protect you from unpleasant things in this world and the Hereafter and support you in your matters wherever you go. If you want to ask for something, do not ask anyone but Allah, for He alone responds to those who ask. And if you need help, do not seek help except from Allah. You should be certain that no benefit will come to you, even if all the earth's inhabitants were to gather together to bring it to you, except if Allah had predestined it for you; and no harm will happen to you, even if all the inhabitants of the earth were to gather together to cause it to you, except if Allah had predestined it for you. Allah Almighty had written and predestined this matter according to His wisdom and knowledge, and whatever Allah had written cannot be changed. Whoever is mindful of Allah by preserving His commands and avoiding His prohibitions, Allah Almighty will be before him, knowing his state, supporting and aiding him. If a person obeys Allah in times of ease, Allah will grant him relief and a way out in times of hardship. Every servant should be content with what Allah has decreed for him, whether good or bad. In the face of trials and hardships, the servant must adhere to patience, for patience is the key to relief. When distress intensifies, relief comes from Allah, and whenever hardship occurs, Allah follows it with ease.

• The Hadīth shows the significance of teaching children the religious matters of monotheism, ethics, and so on.
• Recompense is of the same type as one's deed.
• We are required to trust and rely upon Allah Almighty alone. He is the best Disposer of affairs.
• We are required to believe in and be content with the divine decree and predestination and that Allah has predestined everything.
• Whoever neglects the commands of Allah, Allah will abandon him and will not protect him.
• It gives great news that when a person is tested with a hardship, ease is soon to come.
• It contains solace and comfort to whoever is afflicted by a disaster or the loss of something dear, as suggested by his words: "And know that what had befallen you was not going to miss you, and what had missed you was not going to befall you." The first sentence provides comfort in case of the occurrence of something unpleasant, while the second addresses the loss of something dear.

سنن الترمذي (4/ 284) (2516). التحفة الربانية في شرح الأربعين حديثًا النووية (ص42). شرح الأربعين النووية، لابن عثيمين (ص200). فتح القوي المتين في شرح الأربعين وتتمة الخمسين، للعباد (ص69).