Guidance for men

عَنْ إِيَاسِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ أَبِي ذُبَابٍ رَضيَ اللهُ عنه قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «لَا تَضْرِبُوا إِمَاءَ اللَّهِ» فَجَاءَ عُمَرُ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَقَالَ: ذَئِرْنَ النِّسَاءُ عَلَى أَزْوَاجِهِنَّ، فَرَخَّصَ فِي ضَرْبِهِنَّ، فَأَطَافَ بِآلِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ نِسَاءٌ كَثِيرٌ يَشْكُونَ أَزْوَاجَهُنَّ، فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «لَقَدْ طَافَ بِآلِ مُحَمَّدٍ نِسَاءٌ كَثِيرٌ يَشْكُونَ أَزْوَاجَهُنَّ، لَيْسَ أُولَئِكَ بِخِيَارِكُمْ».

The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) forbade the beating of wives. Then the Commander of the Believers, ‘Umar ibn al-Khattāb (may Allah be pleased with him), came and said: O Messenger of Allah, women have become bold toward their husbands, and their manners have worsened. The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him), thus, permitted beating them in a manner that is not severe if there is a valid reason for it, such as refusing to fulfill the husband's rights or disobedience and the like. Then, after that, women came to the wives of the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) complaining that their husbands were beating them severely and misusing this concession. So the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) said: Those men who beat their wives severely are not the best among you.

• A clarification of the virtue of treating women kindly, and that being patient with them and overlooking their faults is better than beating them.
• Allah Almighty made beating the last step in addressing a wife's disobedience, as He said: {As for those women on whose part you fear rebellion, [first] admonish them, [next] forsake them in bed, and [last] hit them. Then if they obey you, do not take further action against them. Indeed, Allah is Most High, All-Great.} [Surat an-Nisā’: 34] These three steps are to be followed in order, not to be applied all at once. One must begin with advice, admonition, and reminders. If that proves effective, then praise be to Allah. If it does not help, then comes separation in bed. And if that still does not result in change, only then may one resort to beating, as a form of discipline, not out of revenge.
• A man is a caretaker for his household, and he is responsible for raising and disciplining his family with wisdom and good counsel.
• It is permissible to question or review a scholar regarding his Fatwa (legal opinion), to understand its consequences and outcomes.
• It is permissible to lodge a complaint with the ruler or a scholar if the complainant suffered harm.

سنن أبي داود (3/ 479) (2146). سنن ابن ماجه (3/ 152) (1985). بهجة الناظرين شرح رياض الصالحين، لسليم الهلالي (1/ 363). مرقاة المفاتيح، لعلي القاري (5/ 2127).

عن عبد الله بن عمر رضي الله عنهما عَنِ النَّبيِّ - صلى الله عليه وسلم - قَالَ: «إذا اسْتَأذَنَت أَحَدَكُم امرَأَتُه إلى المسجِد فَلا يَمنَعهَا، قال: فقال بلال بن عبد الله: والله لَنَمنَعُهُنَّ، قال: فَأَقبَلَ عليه عبد الله، فَسَبَّهُ سَبًّا سَيِّئًا، ما سَمِعتُه سَبَّهُ مِثلَهُ قَطُّ، وقال: أُخبِرُك عن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم وتقول: والله لَنَمنَعُهُنَّ؟». وفي لفظ: «لا تَمنَعُوا إِمَاء الله مسَاجِد الله...».

‘Abdullāh ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) ‎reported that the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and ‎blessings be upon him) said: "If your wife asks your permission to go to the mosque, do not prevent her." This is in order not to deprive her of the merit of ‎performing the congregational prayer in the mosque. The ‎Hadīth highlights the ruling on a woman going out to the ‎mosque for prayer, which is permissible. Bilāl, a son of ‘Abdullāh ibn ‘Umar, was present when his ‎father was reporting this Hadīth and said: "By Allah! We ‎will prevent them." Bilāl said so without any intention to ‎object to the legislator, as his objection was just out of his ‎jealousy and desire to protect the women, whose behavior ‎differed from what was common during the Prophet's lifetime, ‎especially regarding the wide use of adornments and the like. ‎However, his father believed that his objection was out of ‎rejection of the Prophet's Sunnah. Therefore, he angrily insulted ‎him in an unprecedented manner out of his anger and ‎zeal for Allah, the Almighty, and His Messenger (‎may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him), saying: "I am ‎telling you that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace ‎and blessings be upon him) said so, and you say: 'By Allah! We will prevent them'!"‎

تيسير العلام شرح عمدة الأحكام، للبسام، حققه وعلق عليه وخرج أحاديثه وصنع فهارسه: محمد صبحي بن حسن حلاق، ط10، مكتبة الصحابة، الإمارات - مكتبة التابعين، القاهرة، 1426هـ. تنبيه الأفهام شرح عمدة لأحكام، لابن عثيمين، ط1، مكتبة الصحابة، الإمارات، 1426هـ. عمدة الأحكام من كلام خير الأنام صلى الله عليه وسلم لعبد الغني المقدسي، دراسة وتحقيق: محمود الأرناؤوط، مراجعة وتقديم: عبد القادر الأرناؤوط، ط2، دار الثقافة العربية، دمشق، بيروت، مؤسسة قرطبة، 1408 هـ. صحيح البخاري، تحقيق: محمد زهير بن ناصر الناصر، ط1، دار طوق النجاة (مصورة عن السلطانية بإضافة ترقيم: محمد فؤاد عبد الباقي)، 1422هـ. صحيح مسلم، تحقيق: محمد فؤاد عبد الباقي، دار إحياء التراث العربي، بيروت، 1423هـ.

عن أبي جحيفة وهب بن عبد الله رضي الله عنه قال: آخى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم بين سلمان وأبي الدرداء، فزار سلمان أبا الدرداء فرأى أم الدرداء مُتَبَذِّلَةً، فقال: ما شأنُكِ؟ قالت: أخوك أبو الدرداء ليس له حاجة في الدنيا، فجاء أبو الدرداء فصنع له طعاما، فقال له: كل فإني صائم، قال: ما أنا بآكل حتى تأكل فأكل، فلما كان الليل ذهب أبو الدرداء يقوم فقال له: نم، فنام، ثم ذهب يقوم فقال له: نم. فلما كان من آخر الليل قال سلمان: قم الآن، فصليا جميعا فقال له سلمان: إن لربك عليك حقا، وإن لنفسك عليك حقا، ولأهلك عليك حقا، فأعطِ كل ذي حق حقه، فأتى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فذكر ذلك له فقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم : «صدق سلمان».

The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) established a bond of brotherhood between Salmān and Abu Ad-Dardā'. Salmān visited Abu Ad-Dardā' and noticed that his wife was not dressed the way a married woman should be dressed (i.e. she dressed shabbily). He asked her about the reason and she answered that his brother, Abu Ad-Dardā', had no interest in the (the pleasures) of the world including his wife and food and everything else. When Abu Ad-Dardā' arrived, he prepared a meal for Salmān and presented it to him while Abu Ad-Dardā' himself was fasting. So, Salmān ordered him to break his fast because he knew that his brother was always fasting. Abu Ad-Dardā' complied with his command. When Abu Ad-Dardā' wished to stay up to pray voluntary night prayer, Salmān ordered him to sleep until it was the last third of the night when they both got up and prayed. Salmān wished thereby to show Abu Ad-Dardā' that a person should not burden himself with continuous fasting and night prayer. Rather, he should pray and fast in a moderate manner that earns him the reward without causing exhaustion and suffering. He should also take care to give his family their due rights including his time, care and companionship.

الجامع المسند الصحيح (صحيح البخاري), تأليف: محمد بن إسماعيل البخاري, تحقيق: محمد زهير بن ناصر الناصر, دار طوق النجاة ترقيم محمد فؤاد عبدالباقي, ط 1422. نزهة المتقين شرح رياض الصالحين, تأليف: مصطفى الخن ومصطفى البغا ومحي الدين مستو وعلي الشربجي ومحمد لطفي, مؤسسة الرسالة, ط 14 عام 1407 - 1987. شرح رياض الصالحين لا بن عثيمين, تأليف: محمد بن صالح العثيمين, الناشر: مدار الوطن بإشراف المؤسسة, ط عام 1425. بهجة الناظرين شرح رياض الصالحين, تأليف: سليم بن عيد الهلالي, دار ابن الجوزي.

عَن عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بنِ مَسْعُودٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: كُنَّا مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، فَقَالَ: «مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ البَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ، فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ، وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ، وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ، فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ».

The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) urged those who are able to have sexual intercourse and afford the expenses of marriage to marry, as it protects their sight from what is forbidden, keeps their private parts more chaste, and prevents them from falling into immorality. As for those who cannot afford the expenses of marriage yet can have sexual intercourse, they should observe fast, as it undermines the desire of the private parts and stops the evil of semen.

• Islam is keen on the causes of chastity and safety from immoralities.
• It urges those who cannot afford the expenses of marriage to observe fast, for it weakens sexual desire.
• Fasting is described as a restraint (Wijā’ in Arabic), for Wijā’ means cutting off the veins of the two testicles, which eliminates one's libido; likewise, fasting weakens sexual desire.

صحيح البخاري (3/ 26) (1905). صحيح مسلم (2/ 1018) (1400). الإلمام بشرح عمدة الأحكام للشيخ ،لإسماعيل الأنصاري (2/ 57). تيسير العلام شرح عمدة الأحكام، لعبد الله البسام (ص565). خلاصة الكلام شرح عمدة الأحكام، لفيصل آل مبارك (ص281).

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: «سَبْعَةٌ يُظِلُّهُمُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى فِي ظِلِّهِ يَوْمَ لاَ ظِلَّ إِلَّا ظِلُّهُ: إِمَامٌ عَدْلٌ، وَشَابٌّ نَشَأَ فِي عِبَادَةِ اللَّهِ، وَرَجُلٌ قَلْبُهُ مُعَلَّقٌ فِي المَسَاجِدِ، وَرَجُلاَنِ تَحَابَّا فِي اللَّهِ، اجْتَمَعَا عَلَيْهِ وَتَفَرَّقَا عَلَيْهِ، وَرَجُلٌ دَعَتْهُ امْرَأَةٌ ذَاتُ مَنْصِبٍ وَجَمَالٍ فَقَالَ: إِنِّي أَخَافُ اللَّهَ، وَرَجُلٌ تَصَدَّقَ بِصَدَقَةٍ فَأَخْفَاهَا حَتَّى لاَ تَعْلَمَ شِمَالُهُ مَا تُنْفِقُ يَمِينُهُ، وَرَجُلٌ ذَكَرَ اللَّهَ خَالِيًا، فَفَاضَتْ عَيْنَاهُ».

The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) gave glad tidings to seven categories of the believers whom Allah Almighty will shade in the shade of His Throne on a Day when there will be no shade but His: First: A leader who is upright in himself and not a defiant sinner, and fair among his subjects and not oppressive. This includes the one holding the highest authority and extends to anyone in authority with any of the Muslims' affairs and acts justly in it. Second: A young person who grew up in the worship of Allah, dedicating his youth and energy to this cause until he passes away in that state. Third: A man whose heart is attached to the mosque. Even when he leaves, his great love for it brings him back. His frequent attendance at the mosque keeps his heart spiritually connected to it, even if he happens to be physically outside it for some reason. Fourth: Two men who sincerely loved each other for the sake of Allah, maintaining their religious affection without letting any worldly matter sever their relationship, whether they physically met or not, until death separated them. Fifth: A man who was invited by a woman of noble lineage, status, wealth, and beauty to commit immorality with her, but he refused and said to her: Indeed, I fear Allah. Sixth: A man who gave charity, whether small or large, sincerely without seeking to show off; rather, he hid it to the extent that his left hand did not know what his right hand gave. Seventh: A man who remembered Allah in his heart through reflection or with his tongue through Dhikr (remembrance of Allah) while in solitude, and his eyes shed tears out of fear and reverence for Allah Almighty.

• The merit of the seven mentioned categories and encouraging to follow their example.
• Ibn Hajar said about his statement "in His Shade": It is said that it means: the shade of His Throne as indicated by the Hadīth of Salmān that was narrated by Sa‘īd ibn Mansūr with a good Isnād: "There are seven whom Allah will shade in the shade of His Throne".
• Ibn Hajar said: The best explanation of the just person is that he is the one who follows the command of Allah by placing everything in its proper place, without excess or negligence. He is mentioned first due to the general benefit that comes from him.
• The merit of waiting for prayer after prayer.
• An-Nawawi said: It encourages loving one another for the sake of Allah and highlights its great merit.
• Status and beauty are specifically mentioned due to people's strong desire for them, their eagerness to attain them, and their difficulty in obtaining them.
• The best way to give charity is to do it secretly, as it is further from showing off. However, it is also permissible to give charity and Zakah publicly if it is free from ostentation, with the intention of encouraging others to spend, setting an example for others, and manifesting the rituals of Islam.
• These seven persons attained that bliss only by their sincerity to Allah Almighty and by opposing their whims.
• His statement: "There are seven whom Allah will shade": the limitation to this number is not intended. In fact, there are other categories not mentioned in the Hadīth whom Allah will shade in the shade of His Throne.
• Ibn Hajar said: The mention of men in this Hadīth does not imply exclusivity; rather, women share the same reward as men in the deeds mentioned, unless the reference to the just Imam means supreme leadership; otherwise, a woman may also be included when she has children and treats them justly. As for the trait of adherence to the mosque, it is not applicable to women in the same way, because a woman's prayer at her home is better than in the mosque. Beyond that, women can share in the virtues, even in the case of the man who was invited by the woman. It is conceivable that a woman could be invited by a handsome king, for example, and she refrains out of fear of Allah Almighty despite her needs.

صحيح البخاري (2/ 111) (1423). صحيح مسلم (2/ 715) (1031). إرشاد الساري لشرح صحيح البخاري (3/ 24).

عن سهل بن سعد رضي الله عنه عن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: «مَنْ يَضْمَنْ لِي مَا بَيْنَ لَحْيَيْهِ وَمَا بَيْنَ رِجْلَيْهِ أَضْمَنْ لَهُ الْجَنَّةَ».

The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) informs us about two things, which if a Muslim observes, he will enter Paradise. First: protecting the tongue from saying things that displease Allah Almighty. Second: preserving the private parts from obscenity. This is because these two organs are often used in the perpetration of sins.

• Protecting one's tongue and private parts is a means of entering Paradise.
• He singled out the tongue and the private parts because they are the greatest sources of trials for people in this world and in the Hereafter.

صحيح البخاري (8/ 100) (6474). بهجة الناظرين شرح رياض الصالحين، تأليف سليم الهلالي (3/ 9). نزهة المتقين شرح رياض الصالحين، تأليف د. مصطفى الخِن وغيره (2/ 1035). كنوز رياض الصالحين، لمجموعة من الباحثين (18/ 85). شرح رياض الصالحين، لابن عثيمين (6/ 117). إرشاد الساري لشرح صحيح البخاري، للقسطلاني (9/ 272).

عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: «كُتب على ابن آدم نَصِيبُه من الزِنا مُدْرِكُ ذلك لا مَحَالة: العينان زِناهما النَظر، والأُذنان زِناهما الاستماع، واللسان زِناه الكلام، واليَدُ زِناها البَطْش، والرِّجل زِناها الخُطَا، والقلب يَهْوَى ويتمنى، ويُصَدِّق ذلك الفَرْج أو يُكذِّبُه».

Except for those whom Allah has protected, everyone ends up fornicating. The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) mentioned examples of fornication. The eyes fornicate, i.e. when a man looks at a woman, even if not lustfully, who is not from his Mahrams, this is one kind of fornication. The ears fornicate by listening to and enjoying the voice of a woman. The hands fornicate by touching. The feet fornicate by going to a place of immorality, or following a woman that one unlawfully desires. The heart fornicates by being inclined to women. The genitals prove that when they commit real fornication. If they do not fornicate, then this will be disapproval of other organs’ fornication. From this, men should learn to be cautious not to get attached to women, listen to their voice, see them, touch them, pursue them, nor think of their seduction. These are types of fornication which every chaste and sensible man would resist.

نزهة المتقين، تأليف: مصطفى الخن، الناشر: مؤسسة الرسالة، الطبعة الأولى: 1397 هـ الطبعة الرابعة عشر 1407 هـ. كنوز رياض الصالحين، تأليف: حمد بن ناصر العمار ، الناشر: دار كنوز أشبيليا، الطبعة الأولى: 1430 هـ. بهجة الناظرين، تأليف: سليم بن عيد الهلالي، الناشر: دار ابن الجوزي ، سنة النشر: 1418 هـ- 1997م. صحيح مسلم، تأليف: مسلم بن الحجاج النيسابوري، تحقيق: محمد فؤاد عبد الباقي الناشر: دار إحياء التراث العربي – بيروت. رياض الصالحين، تأليف: محيي الدين يحيى بن شرف النووي ، تحقيق: د. ماهر بن ياسين الفحل ، الطبعة: الأولى، 1428 هـ. صحيح البخاري، تأليف: محمد بن إسماعيل البخاري، تحقيق: محمد زهير الناصر، الناشر: دار طوق النجاة الطبعة: الأولى، 1422هـ. شرح رياض الصالحين، تأليف: محمد بن صالح العثيمين، الناشر: دار الوطن للنشر، 1426 هـ.

عَنْ أَبِي الدَّرْدَاءِ رضي الله عنه أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: «مَا شَيْءٌ أَثْقَلُ فِي مِيزَانِ الْمُؤْمِنِ يَوْمَ القِيَامَةِ مِنْ خُلُقٍ حَسَنٍ، وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَيُبْغِضُ الفَاحِشَ البَذِيءَ».

The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) informed that the heaviest thing, among deeds and sayings, on the believer's scale on the Day of Judgment is good morals represented in having a cheerful face, refraining from harming others and doing good to others. Allah Almighty hates the one who is ugly in his deeds and words, the foulmouthed who uses offensive language.

• The merit of good morals; for it leads one to win the love of Allah and the love of His slaves and it is the greatest thing weighed on the Day of Judgement.

سنن أبي داود (7/ 177) (4799). سنن الترمذي (3/ 535) (2002). توضيح الأحكام من بلوغ المرام، لعبد الله البسام (7/ 487). منحة العلام شرح بلوغ المرام، لعبد الله الفوزان (10/ 264). بهجة الناظرين شرح رياض الصالحين، لسليم الهلالي (1/ 673). تطريز رياض الصالحين، لفيصل آل مبارك (ص410). نزهة المتقين شرح رياض الصالحين، مجموعة من الباحثين (1/ 526).

عن أبي ذر رضي الله عنه قال: قال لي النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم: «لَا تَحْقِرَنَّ مِنَ الْمَعْرُوفِ شَيْئًا، وَلَوْ أَنْ تَلْقَى أَخَاكَ بِوَجْهٍ طَلْقٍ».

The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) urges us to do good and not belittle any act of goodness, even if it is simple. An example is meeting one another with a cheerful face. A Muslim should be keen on doing this, for it brings a sense of friendliness and joy to his Muslim brother.

• The Hadīth highlights the merit of mutual love among the believers and that they meet one another with cheerful and smiling faces.
• It points to the perfection and comprehensiveness of this Shariah and that its teachings unite Muslims and set their affairs aright.
• It urges us to do good deeds, even if little.
• It is recommended to bring joy to Muslims, as it creates friendliness among them.

صحيح مسلم (4/ 2026) (2626). منحة العلام في شرح بلوغ المرام، لعبد الله الفوزان (10/ 119). توضيح الأحكام من بلوغ المرام، للبسام (7/ 341). نزهة المتقين شرح رياض الصالحين، (1/ 572). بهجة الناظرين شرح رياض الصالحين، لسليم الهلالي (2/ 20).